i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
