pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize