Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
