i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
