CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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