why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
