office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
