There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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