How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize