sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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