Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
