i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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