What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I lost the right to judge tonight
you made out with another girl for some wings
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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