Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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