do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
