omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
