Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
