Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
