I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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