I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
