I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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