i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
