Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
