do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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