Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
