I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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