idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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