the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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