Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
wow bdsm is so cute
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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