i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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