i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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