well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
