Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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