Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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