his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
