Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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