got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
