I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
