I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
