Will you blow on my dice?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize