I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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