walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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