Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
