Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize