One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
