He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
