my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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