I think my vagina is haunted
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize