So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
