like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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