I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
