he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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