i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
