Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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