I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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