So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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