no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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