I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
