did you get engaged???
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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