The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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