Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
