One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
