chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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